It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
