so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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