it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
