Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
