His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
