Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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