two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
MIDGETS
????
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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