I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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