I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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