Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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