I wish I could teleport
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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