he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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