eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
