We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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