you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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