how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
