I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
