there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
