Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
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u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize