ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Everything about him screamed your future.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
