he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize