Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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