And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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