Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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