Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
