Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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