I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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