There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize