it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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