he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
