i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
