I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
