I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
