ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
