ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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