glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
40s are totally the cure
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
