Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
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you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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