and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's shark week go big or go home
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
