if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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