I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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