So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
