bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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