i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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