so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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