At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
