I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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