FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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