So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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