he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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