I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it glows. i had to have it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
