Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
