Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
