So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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