The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
