Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize