I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
