NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
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Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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