I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
