Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
